Washington D.C.—Secret Service agents temporarily lost track of Joe Biden last night. They finally found him early this morning scared and confused hiding under his bed after a long night of festivities and Independence Day celebrations.

“We have become very good at finding Mr. Biden when he wonders off. Most of the time we just check the nearest ice cream truck. This time was a little bit of a struggle. We are just glad the little guy is safe and can be returned to his owner Mr. Obama,” said one secret service man.